


Dreams Are Made of This

by chaosgroupie



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:47:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosgroupie/pseuds/chaosgroupie
Summary: Olivia has dreams about Dean Winchester that seem extraordinarily real. In her daily life, she runs into Jensen Ackles. Splitting time between the two boys, she has to make a hard decision. Who would you choose: Dean or Jensen?This idea reminds me of the television show Awake. In that show, a man has either lost his wife or teenage son. In one waking life, he lost his wife. When he goes to sleep, he wakes and has lost his son. It ended before we found out which was real, but that was the original inspiration for this work.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just so y'all know, I'm writing this as I go. Just started it tonight. I'm going to attempt to post at least one chapter a night, but it will depend on how tired I am after work. And if you followed my other two stories, you know that weekends generally have several chapters that come out at once. Hope you enjoy!

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole,” Dean said to Sam as they sat in the Impala. My phone dinged at me and I paused the television. It was my best friend, Tabitha.

**_TABBY: Hey Liv, whatcha up to right now?_ **

**ME: Rewatching Supernatural, preparing for season 15 to start.**

**_TABBY: Geez, girl. This is what, your fifth time through the series?_ **

**ME: Hey! :P**

**_TABBY: Come out with me. It’s Saturday and it’s absolutely beautiful outside._ **

**ME: Fine...where?**

**_TABBY: Meet me at the swap meet in 30. See you then!_ **

Sighing, I turned off my favorite show and grabbed my purse. Tabby was right, I shouldn’t be lazing about the house on Saturday, but I really didn’t want to go anywhere. My boys were waiting for me to follow their journey, even if they didn’t know it.

The swap meet is a pretty crowded place on the weekend. An outdoor bazaar, it has pretty much anything you could possibly want. There were people selling funnel cake, palm readers, used books and clothes, art, and even furniture. It was one of the few places that I loved to shop. You could always find something new and unique.

I found my friend standing right outside the entrance waiting for me, her red hair a beacon in the crowd. When she saw me, her whole face lit up and I laughed, “Hey, Tabs. Been waiting long?”

She pulled me into a tight hug, “Liv, I’m so glad I could talk you out of your hermitage to come and join me for the day. I’ve been dying to get to the stained glass guy and see if he has any of those faux Tiffany lamps left.”

“I just want a funnel cake,” my stomach growled. “I’m starving.”

“You always forget to eat when you are watching Sam and Dean on television.” Her eyes belied her concern for me, “I just worry about you. You are always watching that show, never going out and living your real life. You need to get out more, maybe then you wouldn’t be single and going on three years with no sex.”

We walked down an aisle of the swap meet, heading to where the delicious fried smell was coming from. “Fuck, Tabs. If I had known you were going to remind me of that every single time we hang out, I wouldn’t have told you.”

“You were drunk.” She shrugged, “Do you really think you could have kept something like that from me while you were drunk?”

“No,” I rolled my eyes. I paid for the funnel cake and took a big bite, swallowing before speaking, “I just don’t have the energy to find a guy. Besides, the cast of Supernatural has ruined me for other men. They are all just so perfect, both on the show and in real life.”

“This,” she waved at me. “This is why you need to get out more.” She saw the stained glass guy and shot me a look, “I’ll just be in there looking around. Come find me when you’re done eating that.”

It only took a few more minutes and I finished the funnel cake. As I started to walk toward where Tabby had disappeared to, I came upon a very colorful tent with a sign that proclaimed it had palm reading. My first thought was that it was a scam. I may love Supernatural, but the supernatural is not real. Magic doesn’t exist, fairies don’t exist, and no one can tell you your future just based on the lines on your palm. But still, I went in anyway. Spending $20 didn’t seem like that big a deal, maybe I could get a laugh out of it.

When I pushed open the tent flap, a slightly older black lady looked up at me from where she was sitting at a little round table. She had a large mane of curly black hair, held out of her eyes by a scarf tied to the top of her head. Her clothes were as garish as the tent, bright colors and multiple layers of fabrics.

“Come, come,” she beckoned me over, pointing at a chair. “Sit, please.” Once I was seated, she grabbed my hand, “Now, tell old Missouri your name, child.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Shouldn’t you already know it?” I know the question was spiteful, but I was already irritated at myself for coming inside the tent.

“Child, I can see your future, doesn’t mean I know everything about you.” She gave me a gentle smile, “Now, what is your name?”

“Olivia.”

She flipped my hand over and traced the lines on my palms. “I see a crossroads in your future. You are going to come upon a time in your life where you will have to make a decision. If you choose wisely, you will have happiness and love for the rest of your life. It will be a hard life, but you will want for nothing. If you choose the easier path, you will be heartbroken and betrayed.”

Cupping my hand in both of hers, she looked up at me with unshed tears, “Oh, child. This is going to be so hard for you. I’m sorry.”

I stood quickly, my chair falling over, “What do you mean?”

She stood and motioned for me to wait. Going behind some fabric she had draped, she came back with a little black pouch. The bag was placed into my palm, fingers curled around the bag, “When you decide to, put this on. That will start your journey. Just remember child, it is not always easy to see what path you should take. But I know in my heart, you will choose the right one.”

I put the bag into my purse and brought out my wallet, “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing, child. This is a favor for an old friend. When you see him, just tell him old Missouri says hello and that she misses him. Remind him to keep his feet off the coffee table.” She winked at me and ushered me out of her tent, “Now get going, child. Your future is waiting.”

When I exited the tent, the sky was starting to darken with the loss of the daylight. I looked around and saw that most of the tents were gone. There is no way that I was in there that long. It had been just after lunch when Tabby and I got to the swap meet.

**ME: Hey, did you get your lamp?**

**_TABBY: Oh my god, Liv. I was so worried. I’ve been calling you for hours._ **

I looked at my phone and suddenly saw that there were twelve missed calls.

**ME: Fuck, I’m sorry. I must have put the ringer on silent. I’m okay, I promise.**

**_TABBY: Good, please don’t scare me like that again._ **

**_TABBY: Did you find anything good?_ **

**ME: I went into some fortune telling quacks tent. She spouted some nonsense at me about having to make a choice between a hard life and an easy life. You know, stuff that could apply to literally anybody.**

**_TABBY: Wait, you aren’t talking about Missouri, are you?_ **

**ME: Yes?**

**_TABBY: She is LEGIT! She is how I met Mike. She told me where I would find him and how to win him over when I did. Listen to what she told you, Liv. You will regret it if you don’t._ **

**ME: Fine. And I’m sorry again about ditching you. I didn’t mean to.**

**_TABBY: It’s alright. I’m not mad, especially since you didn’t ditch me for Supernatural…again._ **

**ME: That only happened once!**

**_TABBY: And once was more than enough :P_ **

When I got home, I pulled the bag out of my purse and opened it up. Inside was a silver band, with engravings along the edge. I took a closer look at it. The engravings looked very art deco, definitely not from this era. On the inside of the band was another engraving. It said simply ‘JMDS’ which gave me absolutely nothing to go on. I tried using the almighty Google to see if it was a makers mark, but nothing popped up.

I looked at it from every angle I could, trying to figure out what the catch was. Missouri had told me to wear it to start my journey. But it was just a ring. What could a ring possibly do? Sighing, I slid it onto my right hand, it fit perfectly on my ring finger. I concentrated, trying to see if I felt any different. The only thing I could feel was the fact that I was wearing a ring on my finger. I didn’t bother taking it off though. It was a really pretty ring, and even if it didn’t do anything, it was at least somewhat fashionable.

Once I had eaten dinner and did my nightly routine, it was time to go to bed. My boys would just have to wait another day for me to continue watching them. I climbed into bed and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The feeling of a finger tracing circles on my naked stomach had me opening up my eyes. The first thing I saw was a pair of the most vibrant green eyes I had ever seen. A deep voice said, “Damn if I knew that dreams were this much fun, I would have started having them ages ago.”

I gulped, recognizing that voice. I sat up in the bed and realized I was completely naked, sitting on a bed that looked like it was straight out of the 1970s. There was another bed in the room too, but it was empty. Not bothering to cover myself, I looked at the man lying next to me. He was also naked but had a sheet draped over his hips to cover what little modesty he didn’t have. It’s hard to have modesty when your sizable erection is tenting the thin sheet.

My gaze traveled from his feet slowly up to his head, stopping when my eyes got to his chest. The tattoo was there, the anti-possession sigil. I gulped again. This was only a dream, I should be enjoying this, shouldn’t I? “Dean Winchester, I’ll have you know that this is my dream, not yours.” I yanked the sheet off his hips and stared down at his hard cock, licking my lips.

“Sweetheart, sorry to burst your bubble, but this is my dream.” He pulled me down so I fell on top of him, my hips straddling his stomach. His hardness was against the crack of my ass and I could feel my juices leaking out of me. “But, I’ve been wanting to do this for ten minutes while I waited for you to open your eyes, so I’m just going to do it.”

Like I weighed nothing, he lifted my hips and pulled me further up his body until I was right above his face. I tried resisting, but he just lifted his head up and licked me from the bottom of my slit all the way to my clit. “Relax, baby girl, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise you’ll like this.”

Gripping the headboard tightly, I lowered myself enough that I was only millimeters above his mouth. He latched his mouth onto my pussy, sucking the juices right out of me. When his lips moved to my clit, I couldn’t help but buck against his mouth, pressing down harder on his face. He moaned and it shot a spike of pleasure straight to my core.

“Fuck, Dean,” I moaned. “Oh my god. Yes, just like that.” I reached a hand down and gripped his hair, trying to hold him in place as he sucked on my clit. I looked down and almost came right then at the expression on his face. No guy had ever looked at me like that, with such ferocity and longing. I could feel him smile and his teeth graze my clit, ever so lightly, sending me into convulsions with the strength of my orgasm. His hands held me in place, they were the only thing that kept me from collapsing back onto the bed.

When I stopped coming, I moved backward until I was straddling his hips again and leaned down. My tongue lapped up my juices on his face before I kissed him hard, “Fuck, Dean. I haven’t come like that in...I’ve never come like that.” He was still hard against my ass, and since this was my dream I decided that I wanted to feel his thick hard cock inside of me.

I lifted my hips and inched my way backward. Grabbing his cock, I placed the head at the entrance to my pussy, “Is this what you want?” I gave him a coy look and lowered myself so just the tip was inserted, “Fuck, you are going to stretch me so much.”

I rose up off him again before lowering and taking the tip inside me. I did this a few times before he growled and grabbed my hips tight. If this wasn’t a just a dream,  I definitely would have bruises there the next day. “Baby girl, it’s not nice to tease. Bad girls get punished when they tease,” he started pulling me down onto his cock. He was thicker than anyone I ever had before. Filling me up completely. He was slow about it though, knowing that I needed a little bit of time to adjust to his size.

Once I had sunk down fully onto his cock, he released my hips and I started moving up and down, slow and steady. He moaned, “God, you are killing me, baby girl.” He raised up his hips, thrusting into me hard, “I can’t keep going this slow. I need you to come with me.”

He pulled me off him and flipped me so I was on my back. Grabbing my legs, he hooked my knees over his arms and started thrusting in and out of me, fast and hard. “Rub your clit, baby girl. I want to see the look in your eyes as you fall apart.”

My finger moved over my clit as I looked into his eyes. It didn’t take long and I was screaming his name as my pussy clenched rhythmically around his cock. A few more thrusts and he shoved inside me, spraying his seed deep inside me. When he finished, he fell on top of me, kissing me softly, “Well, that was fucking awesome. Dream chicks are so much better than real ones.”

I gave him a kiss and pushed him off of me. Even in my dream, he weighed a ton, “Yeah well, dream you is about as good as I thought he would be. Too bad they didn’t show how big you are on television, I would have been better prepared.” My insides ached from being stretched so much, “Good thing it’s a dream.”

I yawned and closed my eyes, “I’m just going to lay here for a minute with my eyes closed.” 

Dean pulled me into his arms and placed a kiss on my hair, “I’ll be right here, baby girl.”

Bzzt. Bzzt. My alarm clock went off and I sat up in bed. When I saw that I was back in my own apartment, I breathed a sigh of relief. The dream had been so realistic, I could still feel a soreness between my legs. I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. What I saw in the mirror had me gasping. There were little bruises right on my hips, very near to where Dean had been holding me.

It wasn’t possible. It was just a dream. I’m pretty sure I’ve read something that said super vivid dreams can sometimes cause physical symptoms in the real world because the mind is a powerful thing, but this seemed a bit too real. My mind raced, trying to figure out what was going on. After a bit, I calmed down. It had just been a dream, nothing more. Dean Winchester is a fictional character on a television show. There is no way that I just had dream sex with him. It was just a super vivid dream.

 

That night I was a little apprehensive about going to sleep. Throughout the day, all I could think about was my dream from the previous night. A couple of hours after I woke up, the soreness and bruises had disappeared, almost as if they had never been there in the first place. It made me wonder if I had been seeing things in the morning.

When I laid down to sleep, it didn’t take long for me to pass out. My eyes opened when I felt something crash into the bed, lifting me off it slightly. I opened my eyes and realized I was naked again and back in the same hotel room. Dean was there on all fours, naked as well.

I closed my eyes, “I don’t know if I can take two nights of dream fucking you, Dean. I woke up so sore from something that shouldn’t be real.”

“Baby girl, look at me,” he said softly. I opened my eyes and saw him over me, lips right by my face. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “I don’t even know your name.”

“Olivia Bauer, but you can call me Liv if you want.” I brought my hand up and ran it through Dean’s hair. It was exactly as soft as I thought it would be. My fingers curled down the back of his head and I pulled his face closer to mine so I could give him a deeper kiss.

“Liv, baby girl, you are so fucking gorgeous.” He pushed my thighs apart and slipped a hand between my legs, “Jesus, you are so wet.”

When his finger slipped inside me, I moaned, “Maybe I can take fucking you again. I know I wouldn’t complain about a little soreness if it meant I get to be with you.”

“God, even in my dreams I’m a little egotistical,” Dean laughed as he inserted another finger and started moving it in and out of me.

“Not even a little surprised. On television, you are always pretty cocky, getting the girls left and right. Now that I know what you’re packing below the belt, I’m really not surprised.”

He pulled his fingers out of me and spread my legs wider, “You ready for this, baby girl. Just know, I’m going to make you scream so hard that Sammy will hear it all the way through my dream and into the real world.”

My insides clenched at his words. I had never really thought of myself as an exhibitionist, but the idea of Sam hearing turned me on, “Just fuck me, Dean. Or I’ll wake up and you’ll lose the chance.”

He slipped inside me, stretching me just as much as the previous night. However, tonight was slower. He kissed me passionately as he moved in and out of me. My legs were wrapped around his waist, fingernails digging into his back. Even going slowly, I could feel the buildup of my orgasm that quickly coming. I kissed him, “Dean, I’m so close.”

Bzzt. Bzzt. My alarm went off pulling me out of my dream. I screamed loudly, not caring if my neighbors heard me. At least in my last dream, I had gotten off. My alarm had woken me right in the middle of what was shaping up to be a very satisfying orgasm. I just climbed out of bed and took a cold shower, grumbling about my inane need to go into work early just so I could get off early.


	3. Chapter 3

When I got off work, I was too buzzed to go home. Instead, I decided that a walk on the shore of the lake would help. My little car parked easily in the tiny space next to a huge SUV. I hoped that whoever it was would leave me alone. My day had not been good enough to deal with some jackass trying to bother me.

I took off my shoes and grabbed my phone and keys, leaving everything else in the car. One of my favorite things was the feeling of sand between my toes, so I was not going to let someone else spoil that for me.

When I got to the beach, I saw the figure off in the distance, running along the shoreline. I couldn’t really tell, but the figure looked like a fit guy. Maybe running into him wouldn’t be that big of a deal. My eyes wandered to the water, and I just wrapped my arms around my waist, staring at the water.

The sound of footsteps pounding on the sound drew closer to me and I looked up just as he was about to pass. “Dean?” I must have sounded surprised because the man stopped running, resting his hands on his knees while he tried to catch his breath.

Once he was breathing steadily, he stood back up. “Sorry, sweetheart, that’s just the character I play on TV.”

My face flushed, “Oh my god, you’re Jensen Ackles.” I took a step back, “I’m sorry, I just thought…” I shook my head, “I don’t know what I thought.”

“Easy, sweetheart, it’s alright.” He gave me a huge smile that made my stomach fill with butterflies. He looked so similar to my dream Dean, I was having difficulty separating them. 

My eyes kept drifting down to his shirtless chest as we stood there. Both Dean and Jensen were so similar, being that they essentially inhabited the same body. But Dean looked at me with a fiery intensity, which the look that Jensen gave me was more slow-burn heat.

“I take it you’re a big fan of the show,” his gravelly voice surprised me out of my perusal of his body.

Shrugging, I tried not to fangirl too hard, “Oh, just a bit.” We stood there as I tried to come up with something to say, “I’ve always wanted to meet you, but could never justify the exorbitant price of convention tickets.”

“Seems like our meeting is somewhat fortuitous then,” his eyes drifted up and down my body as a slow smile came over his face. “How would you like to have a drink with me?”

“What?” I stood there, shocked. I’m a nobody, just a fan, and this gorgeous man wanted to go out with me. I couldn’t understand it. When he could have his choice of any girl out there, he was choosing me.

“Let me take you out.” He took a step forward, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, “You are beautiful and not freaking out on me like so many others do. I don’t get to meet many women who treat me like a normal man. Who treat me like I’m just a normal human being instead of a star or a piece of meat.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Really? I can’t imagine you would want to go out with someone like me, even if I do treat you ‘normal.’ Whatever the hell that means. You could have anyone you wanted.”

He seemed to deflate a little bit, “Let me give you my phone number, then you can decide what you want.” He recited it to me as I plugged it into my phone. “I don’t want to make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.” His mouth curved into a very Dean smile, “Although, I will be very sad if you decide not to call.”

When he took off and started running again, I thought about what he said and what I wanted. A once in a lifetime opportunity had fallen into my lap. If I didn’t take the chance, would I regret it? A gorgeous guy wanted to take me out. I decided to send him a text.

**ME: Fine. You win. I’ll go out with you.**

**ME: Name’s Liv Bauer by the way, just in case you were wondering.**

He was probably fifty feet away when he stopped and pulled out his phone. His head turned my way and I could imagine the smug grin on his face.

**_JENSEN: Awesome :D Tonight?_ **

**ME: Sure, but I can’t stay out too late, got work early tomorrow.**

**_JENSEN: Send me your address. I’ll pick you up at 6. We’ll have a drink or two and I’ll take you home._ **

I did as he asked, then went to my car. I only had a couple of hours, and I wanted to put them to good use. At home, I took off the ring just in case it reacted weirdly in the shower. I wasn’t sure if it was sterling silver or not, and the last thing I wanted was a green finger on my date.

At ten minutes to six, I was dressed and ready to go. I wasn’t sure how fancy we were going to be, but rather than just ask him, I decided to put on a dress and just deal with it if I overdressed. A knock at the door startled me and I smoothed the black bodycon dress over my hips. Opening the door, I saw Jensen in a pair of slacks and a hunter green button down, sleeves rolled up. The green of his shirt made his eyes even more vibrant.

A flush crept over my whole body as he gave me an appreciative look, “You look beautiful, Liv.”

“Thanks, Jensen.” I deliberately looked at him from head to toe, “You clean up pretty nice yourself. Although, the shirtless look was pretty awesome, can’t complain about that. You maybe want to just leave your shirt here?”

Jensen laughed, “Ah, sweetheart, would that I could. But I think the bar would frown on it.” He turned and gave me his arm, “Coming, milady?”

I threaded my arm through his, “Onward to my chariot, good sir.”

We ended up going to this little bar that usually had a line out the door. Jensen parked the car on the side and knocked on a door that I was pretty sure was a back entrance. When a well-dressed man opened the door, his eyes immediately widened, “Jensen, my man. How’s it hanging?”

“Little to the left, Tommy.” They both laughed. “Is it busy tonight?”

“Not in the VIP.” Tommy opened the door and gestured for us to enter, “You know the way.”

Jensen grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bar. We were near the back, by a set of stairs. He headed upstairs and we took a seat on a very fluffy couch. Instead of releasing my hand, he started to run his thumb over my palm. It was actually pretty soothing.

The barely dressed waitress came over, her eyes only on Jensen, “What can I get for you?”

I glared at her, which she, of course, did not notice. Jensen smiled that million-watt smile, “I’ll take a beer.” He turned to me, “Get whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Same for me, please.” The waitress still never looked at me, but she did nod her head. When she was gone, I took off my shoes and tucked my feet under me, turning toward Jensen, “So, Mr. Famous-TV-Star, I’m still not sure what you’re doing with me.”

He shrugged, “You’re beautiful. I would think that would be enough.”

“Normally, yes. But you can literally have any woman in the world with just a snap of your fingers.” I reached up and ran a finger down his five o'clock shadow, “I mean, look at you. You are fucking gorgeous. Green eyes, freckles, hard body. It just doesn’t make sense why you would want to go out with a nobody.”

“Sweetheart,” his voice came out deep and commanding. “You are not a nobody. Just because you aren’t famous, which you should be thankful for, doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy. I have to admit, the fact that you called me Dean intrigued me. Usually, when people do that, it’s more like ‘oh my god, you’re Dean Winchester.’” He raised his voice an octave when he said that and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You got me curious as to why you called me that, and what can I say, I like to solve riddles. Plus, the fact that you are smoking hot doesn’t hurt any.”

“Do you really want to know why I called you Dean?” He nodded. I felt my face flush, “Well, I’ve been having these really vivid dreams lately. So vivid, I was starting to think they were real. Dean may or may not have had a starring role in them.” I let out a choked laugh, “I kind of thought I was hallucinating when you ran up to me.”

“Color me intrigued.” He raised his eyebrows and chuckled, “Let me guess, these were sexy dreams.” All I could do was nod and he moved closer to me, putting a hand on my thigh and squeezing lightly, “So, was I...sorry, was Dean any good?”

“Honestly,” I moved a bit closer and leaned my head down until my face was near his. Putting my mouth by his ear, I said softly, “It was so good I came in my sleep. He filled me up more than any other guy I’ve been with.” I glanced down at his crotch, making sure he saw me do it, “I wonder if you would fill me the same way.”

“Fuck,” he groaned and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “As much as I would love to show you, I have a rule. No sex on the first date.” He turned and looked at me, his intense expression giving me butterflies, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you.”

When he kissed me, it was slow and methodical. Different from Dean. Dean devoured me when he kissed, just taking what he wanted. Jensen kissed me with the same intensity he acted with, while at the same time trying to be respectful of my boundaries. Both of the boy's kisses left me breathless and wanting more, they were just different in their execution.

He pulled back and I could tell his eyes were dilated, even in the darkness of the bar. “Fuck, sweetheart. You are something else, you know that?” My mind was still fuzzy from the kiss, so I just looked at him. He placed another gentle kiss on my lips, “You tempt me so fucking much. I just want to take you home and make you scream. But I’m a gentleman. My mama taught me enough that I know you don’t treat women that way.”

“What if I want you to?” I was trying to be coy, but my voice came out breathless and needy instead. When his eyes met mine, my insides clenched with need, “God, Jensen. You shouldn’t have kissed me like that. All I want to do…”

Instead of telling him, I just did it. I hiked up my skirt enough that I could straddle his lap and feel his hardness pressing against my core. I took his face in both my hands and stared into his eyes as I undulated my hips on him. My mouth came down and captured his lips with mine, kissing him with the same passion and ardor he had shown me. He grabbed my hips and held tight, stopping the movement, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to kiss him. 

I moaned as we kissed. Even though he had stilled my hips, I could still feel him straining against his pants, pressing right at my wet entrance. “Fuck, Jensen. I want you.”

He pulled me down on him a little bit more, “I want you too, sweetheart. But I’m still not sleeping with you tonight, no matter how hard you make me.”

The words ran through my head and I felt a little more clearheaded. I pulled back and took a deep breath, “You’re right, of course.” I moved my hips as much as I could with him gripping me tightly, enjoying the pained look on his face, “I guess we’ll just have to go out again. What date would you say is acceptable to engage in sexual intercourse?”

“Fuck, I’m about to throw my no sex on the first date rule out the window.” He lifted me off him and closed his eyes, “Let’s just see how things go. Definitely not tonight. I don’t want you to think I just went out with you to get laid.”

I cuddled up against him, “Don’t worry, Jensen. I know you didn’t go out with me just to get laid. This is a lot of work to do just for sex. You could have just come to the bar and picked up anyone.”

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he looked down at me with a soft smile.

“Well, I get off work at 3:30. Other than that, nothing.”

“How about another date? We could do dinner.”

“I have a better idea.” I knew there was a mischevious grin on my face, but I couldn’t help it, “Come over to my place tomorrow night. I’ll cook you dinner instead of going out. You’re famous enough that you will probably be recognized, and I’m sure you would rather not be stared at all night.”

“I wouldn’t care as long as it was you staring.”

“Flatterer,” I flushed. “Seriously though, I am a pretty decent cook. This way we can get to know one another away from the loud pump of music.”

“Alright, sweetheart, it’s a date.” He gave me a small kiss and looked at his phone, “I guess I should get you home before you turn into a pumpkin.” He helped me up and pulled me against him, letting me feel his impressive erection another time. When he kissed me, it was with a ferocity I didn’t expect, “Fuck.”

“I second that,” I sighed and pulled away so I could put back on my heels. “Next time, Jensen.”

When he got me home, he stayed in the car, giving me a chaste peck on the lips. His reasoning behind that was he didn’t want to be tempted. He thought that walking me to my door would make it too hard to resist giving in to desire. And as much as he wanted me, he insisted on waiting.

Upstairs, I took off my clothes so I could fall onto the bed naked. If I couldn’t have Jensen, at least Dean would keep me company. Maybe I could finish my orgasm this time before the alarm went off. I drifted to sleep with a smile on my face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent three hours at the dentist today and I'm still numb...fml.

Bzzt. Bzzt. I slapped the snooze button, angry that I hadn’t gone to my dream world the night before. Two nights in a row I had visited Dean Winchester. But on the third, after meeting Jensen Ackles, I didn’t get to see Dean? I could feel myself getting mad at Missouri the ‘psychic’ as I trudged to the bathroom. When I got to the sink, I saw something shiny sitting in a dish.

My ring. Could it be that this tiny piece of metal is what brought me to Dean? I couldn’t believe it. But I had two nights with him while it was on, and one night where it was off I didn’t get to see him. Maybe it was psychological, but if it meant I got to see my boy again, I was going to put it on and never take it off. I slipped the ring onto my finger and instantly felt better. Today was going to be long, but at least I had two things to look forward to tonight. Jensen and Dean.

I had promised Jensen a home cooked meal, but I didn’t have time. Getting off work late and then being stuck in traffic meant I had less than an hour to get dressed and make dinner. Instead, I ordered a pizza and hoped that it was something Jensen would eat.

When he knocked, I opened the door and grinned, “So, you came shirtless just for me, eh?” He stood there unabashedly shirtless, with a plaid in his hand.

“Couldn’t leave my girl wanting,” he grinned right back and came in, shutting the door with his foot. When he tossed the shirt off to the side, my breath caught in my throat. He pulled me close, “God, I’ve wanted to do this all day.” He lowered his head and kissed me deeply.

Breathless, I pulled back, "Hi, Jensen."

"Hi, Liv." He looked around, "Is that pizza I smell?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure what kind you'd want, so I just got pepperoni."

He pulled me against him again, "I don't care about the pizza. I've been thinking about this since last night. You'll need to say no if you don't want this."

My face lit up and I pulled his head down so I could kiss him, "Do you really think I'm going to give up a chance to get Jensen Ackles in my bed?" I laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bedroom, "Honey, nothing you could say could make me tell you no."

We separated and I took off my clothes, not wanting to waste time. Jensen's eyes never left my body and I could feel myself getting more and more turned on. Once I was naked, I strutted over to him, swaying my hips intentionally.

I unbuttoned his pants, sinking to my knees as I pushed his pants and underwear to the ground. As he stepped out of them, his fingers ran through my hair, "God, sweetheart, you look so good."

I smiled up at him as I stroked his cock, "Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet." I bent forward and wrapped my lips around him, taking him deep into my mouth. My tongue caressed the underside of his shaft and I took him even deeper, forcing myself to gag on his cock.

This was another way that Dean and Jensen were similar. They were the same exact size, length and girth. While the chance to take Dean in my mouth hadn’t happened yet, they definitely felt similar. When I pulled off him, I looked up into his eyes, “How do you want to finish?”

He pulled me up and kissed me, “Sweetheart, as much as I would love to finish in your mouth, I want to make you scream first.” He pushed me back onto the bed and I screamed a little as I fell. Jensen laughed and climbed onto the bed, giving me a kiss. His lips moved to my neck and I could feel my skin pulling a little as he sucked a mark onto the skin.

I moaned as he moved further down, kissing my skin. When his lips touched my clit, my hips bucked, “God, Jensen.” His tongue vibrated against me and I could feel myself getting close, “I want you inside me when I come.”

Lifting himself back up, he lined his cock up at my entrance, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him into me, moaning at how full I felt. “Fuck me now.”

As he moved in and out of me at a steady pace, I couldn’t help but think of Dean. There was something about the way that he moved that was so different than my dream man. My hand moved between us so I could rub myself, trying to bring myself to orgasm while he fucked me. “Harder, Jensen.”

He increased his pace and I could feel myself start to come. My core clenched tight as I came, making him come with me. Jensen fell to the side and rolled onto his back, “Hot damn, Liv. That was fantastic.”

“Yes,” I agreed to make him happy. Leaning over, I kissed his lips and then got up to grab a wet washcloth and clean up. Once we were clean, I yawned and climbed back into bed, “There’s pizza if you want. I’m going to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

A sad look crossed over his face before disappearing, “Do you want me to go?”

I shook my head, “Eat your dinner and then come cuddle with me. I’d like to wake up with you.” When the smile reached his eyes again, I closed my eyes and buried my face into my pillow.

Fingers rubbed up and down my back, waking me up. I was no longer in my own bed, but in a penguin themed hotel room. Dean was lying on his side, smiling down at me, “Dean.” I sighed in relief.

“I was so sad when you didn’t show up last night in my dreams, baby girl. Especially after you disappeared on me without either of us getting to come.” He gave me a kiss, “I was beginning to think I had imagined it all. And let me tell you, Sam has been giving me shit for three days now about the fact that I was moaning your name in my sleep.”

“Well, since this is my dream, that’s what imagination is.” I rolled over so I was facing him, “I wish this were real. We could do so much together, instead of just stealing moments here and there. I missed you last night. Sleeping without having you visit my dreams makes me depressed.”

Dean pushed my hair away from my neck so he could kiss the side, but stopped as he bent over me, “What’s this?” His voice sounded a bit angry, but he wasn’t yelling, yet.

“What?”

“You have a hickey.”

“Seriously?” I laughed, “Why are you getting upset? This is my dream. You are supposed to just be with me no matter what.” When he frowned and pulled back, I instantly felt bad, “I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I don’t want to force you into something you don’t really want.”

“Baby girl,” his voice was soft, “you could never force me to be with you against my will. I’m just upset that someone else is leaving marks on your body.”

“It’s nothing. You are the only one I have visiting my dreams, Dean Winchester.” I rolled on top of him and spread my legs so I could feel his hardness beneath my core which was getting increasingly wetter, “I want you, not anyone else.”

He lifted my hips so I was poised right above him. “Are you sure, baby girl?” I nodded and he slowly lowered me onto him, “Good, because you are the only one I have visiting my dreams, Olivia Bauer. And I must say, this is the best part of my day.”

Once I was fully seated, I started rocking back and forth on his cock as I clenched my muscles rhythmically. He groaned my name and dug his fingers into my hips, pulling me harder against him. I was already so wet and turned on from being with Jensen, that it didn’t take long for me to get close to climaxing again with Dean. I looked down into his eyes, “Fuck me, Dean. Fuck me so hard I forget all about him.”

He rolled me onto my stomach so I was lying flat on the bed with my legs together. Directing his cock between the crevice of my thighs, he slowly inserted it back inside my pussy, “Goddamn, you’re tight like this.”

When he started to move, it was almost painful it felt so good. Every stroke had him hitting my g-spot. “Dean, oh my god. Fuck me, Dean. Fuck me harder.” He started pounding in and out of me and I screamed as I came, “Dean!” He continued to thrust into me as I came before coming himself.

As he pulled out, he rolled to the side and pulled me up against his chest, petting my hair as we snuggled. “I don’t want this dream to end.”

“Neither do I, Dean.” I placed a soft kiss on his pectoral muscle, “Neither do I.” But even though I tried, I couldn’t keep from falling asleep.

I woke to someone shaking my shoulder. Jensen was looking at me with an odd expression on his face, “So, did you just have another sex dream with Dean?”

My face flushed, “What?”

“I literally just watched as you came and screamed his name.”

I turned to my stomach and buried my face into the pillow. “I’m sorry, Jensen. I can’t control my dreams.”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s a little weird, but it definitely was hot as fuck watching you come in your sleep.” He laid down next to me and pulled me into his arms, “Come on. Let’s go to sleep. I know you have to get up early.”

Falling back asleep, my dreams were empty for the remainder of the night.

 

The next morning, Jensen left as I got ready for work. He still seemed a little weird about the fact that I’d had a sex dream about Dean while I was with him, but didn’t say anything more about it. As soon as he left, I called my boss and told her I wasn’t feeling well. I needed to go back to the swap meet and find Missouri. Maybe she could tell me what was going on.

When I got to the swap meet, I went straight to where her tent had been before. Luckily, it was there again. I went inside and she smiled when I walked in, “Olivia, child, it’s good to see you again.” She stood and grabbed my hand, “Oh, I see your journey already has a firm hold on you. No need to worry, your choice doesn’t need to be made yet, but it will be coming up soon.”

“That’s what I came to talk to you about.” I sighed as she pulled me to the table and made me sit with her, never letting go of my hand, “I’ve started having these dreams. In the past four nights, I’ve had dreams three of them, and…”

“Wait, only three?” she seemed confused.

“Why am I having these dreams, Missouri?” my voice was beseeching. “I’m so confused right now. I fall asleep and wake up in a cheesy hotel with a guy that doesn’t exist. The only night I didn’t see him was because I forgot to put my ring back on after my shower.”

“Oh, child,” her voice came out sad and soft. “You’ve already taken the ring off once? You can’t do it again. If you take the ring off again you won’t be able to see him anymore.”

“Wait, the ring is making me have these dreams?”

“They’re not dreams, child, not really.” She let go of my hand and clasped hers together, twisting them nervously, “The man you are visiting is really Dean Winchester, and he does exist, just on a different reality from our own. That ring brings you and him to a location outside of time and space where you can be together, but you have to be dreaming for it to work.”

“Hold up on sec.” I held up my hand for emphasis, “So what you’re telling me is that Dean is a real person? I’ve actually been fucking Dean Winchester?”

“Well, you weren’t supposed to sleep with him, but yes,” she gave me a pretty spot on mom face.

“If I wasn’t supposed to sleep with him, why are we both naked in the dream world?”

“This isn’t my spell, child. Rowena concocted it to find Dean’s true love.”

“Oh, now I know you’re pulling my leg.” I stood and started to walk away, but she grabbed my hand. I looked down at her and said quietly, “What am I supposed to do Missouri? We live in separate universes. I’ve started seeing Jensen, you know the actor who plays Dean on TV. I can’t be with Dean, not really.”

“I don’t know, child, I truly don’t. The ring didn’t come with instructions. All I know for certain is that if you take it off a second time, you will never be able to see Dean again.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” I pulled my arm out of her grasp and ran outside, not surprised to see that it was dark and several hours had passed. I drove home quickly and climbed into bed, trying to fall asleep fast so I could see Dean again.

 

Unfortunately, for some reason, Dean didn’t show up in my dreams. I even double checked to make sure I was still wearing the ring and I was. It made me worried that something had happened to Dean, but I knew from the show that sometimes they worked at night. Maybe he was just busy and couldn't sleep. That was the best explanation I could come up with for why we didn’t see each other.

The weeks began to pass and I found myself falling for two very different men. They looked similar but didn’t act anything like one another. After the incident where Jensen heard me scream Dean’s name, he didn’t stay with me when I went to sleep. I’m not sure if it was a conscious choice on his part, or if it was more of something that just happened.

But I started to get to know both boys better, for more than just their magnificent packages. Jensen was funny and smart but didn’t like to go out in public with me. He said that it was because he didn’t want the paparazzi stalking me, but I had my doubts. Dean always had a piece of my heart, even before I knew he was real. When we weren’t fucking like bunny rabbits, he told me stories about growing up that made me cry for the little boy he was, for the childhood he lost.

When I threatened to throat punch his father if I ever saw him, Dean threw back his head and laughed, his entire body shaking. He told me that if John Winchester came back from the dead, he would hold him in place so I could do just that. That he loved his father, but at 41 years old, he had long since realized that the way John treated them and raised them was completely fucked up.

Jensen was harder to get to know. He didn’t want to introduce me to any of his friends and I was starting to feel a bit like a mistress. I knew that he had been married before because that is hard to keep secret when you are famous and that he and Danneel had divorced a couple of years prior to me and Jensen hooking up. But when your boyfriend doesn’t want you to meet the guys that he calls brothers, something starts to smell hinky.

Dean on the other hand, once I told him about Missouri and the ring, about what she had said to me about the coffee table, he realized that what we were doing was real. Instead of looking terrified, he actually looked elated. All he could talk about was finding a way to bring me to him so I could meet everyone. He told me about his and Cas’s relationship, explaining that they had dated for several years but because of all of the fighting and hunting, it was hard to make the relationship work between them. That they had loved each other, but being in love with an angel was a lot harder than it sounded.

Cas had responsibilities that he couldn’t ignore and Dean had to save the world, on multiple occasions. I told him that I was sorry he couldn’t be with the one he loved and he looked me in the eyes, telling me that he did get to be with the one he loved. That he loved me.

Needless to say, I was shocked because on the TV show Dean has always been a little emotionally stunted. I only stared at him for a few seconds before telling him that I loved him back. But then I cried because I wasn’t sure if I would ever actually get to see him. He just held me and said that we would make it work. Even if he had to hunt Chuck down and force him to bring me to their reality, he would do just that.

 

One night when I was with Jensen, he stayed over. We hadn’t done that in a while, so when he woke me in the middle of the night by shaking me, I was terrified something was wrong, “Oh my god, what’s wrong?”

“You’re fucking still moaning his name.” He sounded like a petulant child, “I thought that was just a thing that happened that once. I didn’t realize you were having wet dreams more regularly than that.”

“Jensen, are you jealous?” I couldn’t believe that the television star in my bed was jealous of my dreams. He didn’t know that they were real, what did he have to be jealous of.

“No,” he climbed off the bed and started to get dressed.

Forgetting about what Missouri told me, I took off my ring and placed it on the nightstand, “Please, Jensen. Come back to bed. I…” I didn’t know if I could say it. I really cared for Jensen, but it was different with Dean. But I never knew if I could be with Dean, so I would just have to settle for second best. I gulped and just did it, “I love you, Jensen.”

His face softened as he smiled at me, “I love you too.” He took his clothes back off and climbed into bed, “I’m sorry if I seem so upset about this. Just imagine how you would feel if the woman you loved was dreaming about another man every night.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I kissed him, “Now, let’s go back to sleep.”

 

The funny thing is, if I thought that Jensen truly loved me, I would have taken the ring off for him with the full knowledge that it would mean I could never see Dean again. But at the time I was so tired, all I remembered was that the ring brought me to Dean in my dreams and if I wanted to share my bed with Jensen, I couldn’t keep the ring on.

The morning after, Jensen kissed me goodbye and I saw the ring sitting on the nightstand. Everything came flooding back to me. I put the ring back on again, but as the tears streamed down my face, I realized that I had made the choice that Missouri had warned me about. As it stood, I wasn’t sure if it was the right one or the wrong one. All I knew was that my heart was breaking.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through news articles, trying to take my mind off of losing Dean. An article popped up that I normally would have ignored, but it was from a reputable and real news source. The title was ‘Jensen Ackles Engaged to Ex-Wife Danneel Ackles.’ I couldn’t believe it. I read the entire article, saw that he had been with her the entire time we had been together. My heart started breaking even more. I may have loved Dean more, but I did still love Jensen in my own way. I shared the article with him through text.

**ME: So, back with the ex? When were you planning on telling me?**

**_JENSEN: I thought you knew._ **

**ME: Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I never would have slept with you if I thought you and Danneel were still together.**

**_JENSEN: Not my fault. Everyone knows about us. I figured you read the news. I mean, you did find that article._ **

**ME: You fucking jackass. You should have just told me. No wonder you kept me hidden from the world. No wonder you wouldn’t introduce me to Jared and Misha. It was because I’m the SIDE PIECE!!!!**

**_JENSEN: You have no one to blame but yourself, sweetheart. You should have done your research._ **

**ME: Fuck you to hell and back Jensen Ackles. And you know what, lose this number. If I knew how to get in touch with Danneel, I would tell her all about us. Just be thankful I don’t.**

I deleted every text message I had ever gotten from him, along with all the pictures we had taken. When I blocked his number, I had a brief moment of panic, wondering what I was doing. But when I thought back to the fact that he had been lying to me for months, I almost threw my phone across the room.

Now I didn’t have either of my boys and I didn’t know what to do.


	5. Chapter 5

I spent most of the rest of the week in bed, not bothering to shower or eat. Every night I went to bed, praying that I would get to see Dean again. Every morning I woke up sobbing because he was gone. After several days of this, I finally decided that I was going to be proactive and try to figure out a way to get him back. Since the supernatural existed in his reality, maybe it existed in mine as well. I already knew that Missouri had disappeared, she was the first thing I tried to find after removing the ring for the second time. But she and her tent were gone and I couldn’t find anyone who had ever even noticed her at the swap meet. Almost like she had never existed.

My first thought was making a deal for my soul. I grabbed a box, put in a bone from a black cat which I had picked up at an occult shop, some graveyard dirt, and a picture of myself. There were some inconsistencies about what was supposed to go in the box, so I also added in some of my blood, thinking that it couldn’t hurt.

I found a crossroads junction that happened to be on a dirt road and buried the box. I waited for hours for a demon to come and buy my soul, but nothing happened. I had fallen to the ground and cursed Crowley and the show for making me believe that something could happen.

When selling my soul didn’t work, I started to pray. First to Castiel, because Cas was the best out of all of them. I prayed to Cas, Gabriel, Balthazar, Chuck...I even prayed to Michael and Lucifer. Nothing but silence. My prayers started out pleading and then devolved into me yelling at them, telling them that they were worthless and that I hoped they rotted in hell where they belonged.

Nothing worked. In the heat of the moment, I had lost the thing that mattered most to me. I had thought that if I couldn’t have the one I loved, I would love the one I was with. That turned out so well for me.

In the months since I lost both Dean and Jensen, I had lost twenty pounds that I couldn’t afford to lose. My appetite was non-existent and I was barely sleeping. When I did sleep, my dreams were full of nightmares. Every nightmare started off the same, with Dean and me together in bed. From there, it would rapidly devolve into something straight out of a horror movie. Dean would try and kill me, something would try and kill Dean, or I would realize that he was really Jensen and he would start laughing at me.

This had driven me to desperation, which is why I was sitting in a huge Catholic church at midnight with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in my hand. I stared at the cross on the wall, “Chuck, God, whatever you want to be called, I fucked up.” My words were already slurred from the alcohol, the tears streaming down my face made it worse. “I just want him back, even if it is just in my dreams.”

I set the bottle down on the pew and stumbled my way to in front of the altar. Dropping to my knees, I bowed my head and closed my eyes, “Chuck, I know I haven’t been the most faithful of people. This is my first time in a church in over twenty years. I should have paid more attention to Missouri, but I didn’t and now I’m alone.” I was full on sobbing by this point, “I don’t want to be alone.”

A warm hand landed on my back, startling me. I turned and saw a nun standing behind me, bits of red hair poking out of her habit. “Hello, love,” the Scottish accent seemed a little out of place in Texas. “Let’s get you off the floor.” She pulled me up and sat me down on a pew. Joining me, she wrapped her arm around me, “Now, tell me what has you crying?”

“I made a mistake,” my face fell into my hands. “Honestly, I’m not even sure I didn’t imagine the whole thing. You’ll probably think I’m crazy.”

“Lass, I am in a house of the lord, nothing surprises me anymore.” She rubbed my back, “Now, tell me your story.”

I told her about meeting Missouri and the ring. How apparently Rowena had placed a spell on it that would take me to Dean. The ring that would only let me take it off twice before tearing me away from the man I loved. How awful it was that by taking it off I could never see him again, no matter how much I wanted to.

The nun tsked, “Lass, did you ever think that maybe she thought you would take it off because you didn’t want to be with him? That she wouldn’t want to force you to be with someone?”

“But I do want to be with him,” my brain was fuzzy and not thinking rationally, but something felt off to me. “I made a mistake. Haven’t you ever made a mistake?”

“Och, lass, I’ve made more mistakes than I care to admit.” She let out a bitter laugh, “My son is the devil. I think that tops any other mistake I’ve made.”

“I’m sure he’s a good son.”

“Nevermind about me, finish your story.”

I told her about meeting Dean and Jensen. How we jumped straight into bed with one another and how we had copious quantities of sex. I told her how Dean was such a sweet guy, a lot less emotionally constipated than he was on the show. Yes, I told her that he was from the television show. The fact that Jensen seemed like a better guy than he actually was in real life. That he used me just for sex. I told her all about how I had fallen in love with Dean easily, and how much I missed him. The part that made me the saddest was when I told her how I had taken off the ring just to sleep with Jensen without dreaming about Dean. That I had forgotten what Missouri told me.

“What about Jensen? How did you feel about him?” she asked gently.

“Did I love him? Yes. Was I in love with him? I don’t think so.” I shook my head, trying to clear my alcohol addled brain, “It’s a moot point anyway. He was still with his ex the entire time we were together and I didn’t know about it.”

“May I see the ring?” Her voice was so kind I took it off and gave to it to her. She looked at it, “Did you ever figure out what JMDS stands for?”

“No. I thought it was a makers mark, but nothing popped up about it.”

“Well,” her voice grew animated and the Scottish brogue more pronounced. “The engraving appears to have been done after the ring was made. It’s well done, but you can tell that it was added after. Back in the day, when women got married they would have their husbands and their first initial carved into their wedding band. Then, once they had children, they would add their initials as they were born. Maybe the D is for Dean.”

“It can’t be.”

“Why not, love?”

“Because that would mean it came from another reality.” The tears started flowing again, “I can’t let myself believe that.”

“If you could change things, would you do them differently?” her voice was curious but still kind.

“Honestly, yes.” I closed my eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning, “I would have never taken the ring off, not for Jensen. I did it so he would stay, thinking that reality was better than a dream. But even if I could only have Dean in my dreams, I would rather that than a life without him.”

She murmured something and then handed the ring back. I put it on and started to feel sleepy. The nun laid me on the pew and kissed my forehead. As I fell asleep, I heard her say, “Make sure you tell him we’re even now.”

The cold hard ground woke me up. When I tried to sit up, I realized I was still drunk. Drinking an entire liquor store might have worked for Cas, but I was not immune to the effects of whiskey. I looked around, willing my eyes to adjust to the darkness.

The room I found myself in was empty, with concrete floor and walls. I forced myself to stand, and even though I swayed, I managed to stay upright. Once I did that, I noticed red paint beneath my feet. It was in the form of a circle with symbols inside it. The design itself looked so familiar, but I was too out of it to know what it was. I took my phone out of my pocket and turned on the light, hoping that would help me figure things out. Once I did, I realized what the symbol was, a devil’s trap.

Just to be sure of something, I stepped out of the circle, breathing a sigh of relief that I could. I must be in a dream again, that is the only possible explanation. The only thing that made me happy was that if this was a devils trap, and it looked fresh, Dean must be around somewhere.

I tried the door, but it was locked. Maybe I just had to wait for him to fall asleep too. I started to pace, trying to keep myself away. After what seemed like forever, but was probably only ten minutes, I threw caution to the wind and decided to try something that wouldn’t work, “Cas, are you out there? Can you hear me? I need your help, please.” My voice broke as I pleaded, “I can’t live with losing Dean again. Please help me find him.”

I closed my eyes to stop from crying and rested my head against the cool concrete of the wall. The sound of wings was loud in the small space. I lifted my head and saw the dark-haired angel looking at me quizzically, head tilted to the side, “Cas?”

I felt the room spin and started to fall. Cas grabbed me before I hit the ground. My eyes fluttered shut and I groaned, “Please don’t let me fall asleep. I can’t bear to lose Dean again. Please don’t let me…” He stood with me in his arms as I passed out.

When I started to wake again, I was in a warm bed, half-naked. I didn’t open my eyes, not wanting to see that I was back in my own apartment. I buried my face in the pillow and started to sob.

A deep voice said, “Liv?”

It sounded so much like Dean, but it couldn’t be him. “Go away. I’ve lost him again. I can’t live through this again.”

The bed sunk a bit and a warm hand caressed my back, “Liv, baby girl, open your eyes.”

“No,” I was being petulant, but I truthfully didn’t want to know if I was hallucinating or not.

A hand smacked my ass hard and my eyes flew open as I gasped. I looked at the offender and saw those brilliant green eyes that I had been dreaming about for a month. I sat up and reached for his face, running my fingertips over every inch.

There weren’t too many differences between Dean and Jensen, just one little thing on Dean’s face that Jensen didn’t have. My fingers brushed over the scare on his forehead and tears came to my eyes, “Dean?”

“God, baby girl,” Dean pulled me into his arms. His body shook as he cried silently with me, “I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

I pulled back and looked at him, “Dean Winchester, I love you. I made a terrible, awful mistake. And if this is real, I will be a happy woman. If this is a dream, I pray I never wake up.”

There was a knock at the door and a familiar face stuck his head in, “You guys okay?”

“Sammy, everything’s fine.”

I looked at Dean, “Is this real?”

“Yes, baby girl.” He placed a gentle kiss on my lips, “I don’t know how, but you are really here.”

“There was a nun with a Scottish accent and red hair, that’s the last thing I remember.” I thought back to what she had said, “She told me you were even now.” I gasped, “Oh my god, Rowena.”

Dean and Sam looked confused, “Missouri gave me this ring,” I took it off and handed it to Dean. “She told me that Rowena had put a spell on it to bring you your true love. The nun had red hair and a Scottish accent, just like Rowena. I’m pretty sure that is who she was, especially since she said that her son was the devil. Crowley is the king of hell after all.”

He couldn’t stop looking at the ring, “This was our mother’s ring, I thought I’d lost it.” Unshed tears shone in Dean’s eyes, “I think we’re more than even. I’m pretty sure I owe her now after she brought me you.” He put the ring back on me and kissed me hard. I heard the sound of the door shutting, but didn’t care. Dean pulled away first, “We should probably go to the library. Sam and Cas have been wanting to meet you for a while.”

He stood and tried to pull me off the bed, but I didn’t budge. “Can I say something first?”

He sat back down, “Sure.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Dean’s voice was gentle.

“I’m sorry. I was with Jensen too. Once I knew that the dream world was real, I should have made my choice then.”

His face morphed into anger, “This is the only time we are going to talk about this, and then I never want to hear his name again. Deal?” I nodded and his face softened, “You did nothing wrong. It may have been real, but we could never actually be together outside of when we were asleep. You had every right to try and make a life for yourself.”

“But I took off the ring because of him,” I twisted it on my finger. “I mean, I had spaced that I couldn’t take it off again or I would lose you. But I still did it so I could be with him dream free. And I lost you because of it.”

“Baby girl,” he wiped off a tear as it fell. “I need you to listen to me when I say this. I love you. I don’t blame you for any of it. Even if you had done it on purpose, I wouldn’t blame you. I. Love. You. Only you.” He grinned, “Besides, you’re here now, which means that I get you and he doesn’t”

“He hasn’t had me for a while.” I couldn’t help but grimace, “I was the mistress and didn’t realize it. I will admit that was pretty stupid of me. I should have known when he didn’t want to be seen in public with me or introduce me to anyone.”

“Well, you’re here now, and that’s all that matter.” He kissed me deeply, “Let’s go out there now before I throw you on this bed and have my way with you.”

“Yes, sir.” I kissed him again, “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

“And I love you, Olivia Bauer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't very long, sorry. I finished it because I don't want to be one of those people who is like 'I'm not feeling it, so I'm putting it on hold' and then five years later it still isn't finished. Instead, I just kind of glossed over the part that I was to put it into a few paragraphs instead. Maybe one of these days I will rewrite this and elaborate on what happened during both relationships.   
> I hope you still enjoyed it, even if it was shorter than my others. I was really happy with how it started and ended, just not the very middle of it.


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